grateful for Jesus who looked upon this little girl when she decided one day walking out of Cedar that she will be a lifelong athiest because she can’t figure out who is the real god and reckon no one else would know 

grateful for mum even though i had the most fights with her and even though the way she and I think are at polars with each other, but without her holding on, this family would have long crumbled. And despite all my mess-ups, she still believes and loves me

grateful for dad for just being around and for his crazy and nonsense personality, which i find so funny many times - tt i tell all my friends he actually loves and watches anime. =P and even though he doesn’t say/show it, i know i’m his dear daughter and he tells ppl how proud he is of me

grateful for grandpa and grandma whom i affectionately nicknamed lao ye ye and lao ah ma =P (my brother calls my grandma xiao (small) ah ma, which isn’t any better, lol!), for lao ye ye who tries to make sense of my horrible hokkien when i try to ask him to teach me dialect (he can speak mandarin btw), for lao ah ma for helping me clear my messes in my room =S for enduring all my late nights and always trying to help me in areas whenever she can

grateful for my brother, that whn i’m feeling upset and i can’t sleep, he lets me whine and he wld spend time w me going supper tgt at late late nights. And the fact tt he offered to pay for my milo c bing and carry the dishes to the table. And letting me crashed in his room so i can wake up easier the next day and although he pretends tt he doesn’t care and continues to play his music + gaming sound + tv show on whn i trying to sleep on his bed, but whn i really fell asleep, he off everything and switched off the lights so i could sleep better (and i knew cause i woke up half way and realise his room was so quiet)

grateful for Tabernacle of Joy, bishop, pastor, rock leaders and everyone that’s there - for creating a safe environment; for hard preaching; for challenging/inspiring us to dream and pursue God; for holding strong to the apostle’s doctrine; for preaching what God wants to be preached and not what the world or we want to hear; for always believing in me

grateful for my bestest friends:

for charlotte who talk long with me over the phone abt feeling feeling stuff we want to rant abt cause we are blue and for telling me that she sees me as her best friend =);
for lily who can listen to all the questions i have and how i rationalize and think through in my head and for advising me and for saying things as it needs to be said and for being so fun to bully =P;
for lilin, who always is so encouraging and goes over the top genuinely excited for you whatever it is that I’ve shared, for supporting all my endeavours in whatever haha and for just being you =);
for seokkian, who is the special friend i relied on when I had none in class, who became a very close friend that i dearly love;
for sheeping who goes to school with me, if not i might still have no friends in class cause i’m too quiet to talk, who listens to all my crazy talks in sch, who is my literal moral support over msn whn we chiong essays;
for wenqi, who runs towards me and hug-attack me and terrorizing me with your kisses, who attempted to lick me on several accounts, for always telling me that she loves me
for wong, who i made popular her nickname that many addresses her by that now =P for my ton overnight, cannot-study-at-home-must-study-outside friend, my go home partner, and my siao ding dong friend that embraces/supports all the crazy, last minute, spontaneous ideas abt everything, and for laughing at the top of our voices in buangkok at night abt poot. HAHA

grateful for my boss, who is too nice and tries to help me in some many ways when actually as an assistant, I’M SUPPOSED TO HELP HIM! For giving me grace for my nonsense, for buying me free lunch (haha), for being approachable and friendly tt i can seriously tell him the randomness stuff

haha and pastor told the guys tonight to thank the girls for being apostolic, so yeah i want to say I’m grateful for our church guys too, for being apostolic men =) i feel safe and at home in church and you all have helped create that environment. 

grateful for tonight’s message - i didn’t realise there’s so much ingratitude in me and yes it’s true how the devil will want you to just focus on what you don’t have that you neglect and forget what you do… and I’m practically crying non-stop writing this post. And I remember sis carol asking me a question when she counseled me, ‘You have so much, what more do you want?’, and yes I am truly blessed. Thank you all =)

my brother and I engage in ‘christian’ talks, like literally we use the word ‘christian’… except the word comes mostly from his mouth.

it would almost be strange if i don’t hear him call me ‘christian’ every other day now. I used to dislike that, because he would go, ‘eeee christian touch before, cannot touch’; ‘cannot eat christian food’; ‘christian go place cannot go’ -.- which he still does so, but I’m more amused about it now… haha

just recalling my relationship w my brother, God has brought it a long way, and I only see it improving more and more. I remember for 2009 youth camp, when sis huie preached about relationship and how there are some relationships in our lives that need improvement, I thought of my brother.

His door was always locked, entrance into his room for his christian sister is near impossible, and every time I knocked on his door, it made him angry but I remember telling God, like how He always continues to knock on the door of his heart, I would also do so - I would keep on knocking on his physical room door. 

Opportunity arises that I had to tuition my brother for his exams, he doesn’t like to study; I don’t like to study too; I am not exactly born a teacher; I am teaching him the subjects I am WORST at and his bed is the table, seriously how non-conducive can the study environment get… but as much as he and I dreaded the process, it was the only chance I get the most interaction with him and that was when I realise he thinks alot about the whole christianity matter, because without fail everyday he would mention christian related stuff (sometimes in a negative sense) and I also realise I could say very harsh thing in his face and it totally bounced off him and he laughed about it -.-

I recently celebrated my 21st, and I was so happy my brother agreed to come! For my birthday party, I asked God for just one good thing that could come out of it, whatever it is, cause i felt =S that the party kind of ended up bigger than we wanted. And God answered that prayer!

well firstly, my brother came! And I was super surprised that my brother was so sporting for the horrific games that absolutely embarrasses him, especially the dress up one… I LAUGHED sooo HARD! (being embarrassed by your elder sister isn’t exactly the coolest thing har?) and I don’t know what stirred in him ever since the party but he talks a little differently now. =)

for 3 midnights already, he asked that I accompany him to make pancakes (i know who makes pancakes at midnight right? i have a strange brother that’s almost as weird as I am… haha) then he allowed me into his room and eat pancake with him or he ate them in my room. And for the 3rd or 4th time already, we also tried to order mcdonald’s for supper together. He randomly said he wanted to sleep in my room for 2 nights already and talked ‘nonsense’ with me =)

brother: jie, you christian right?
me: yes (i was trying to sleep, it was like 1am…)
brother: jie, you christian right?
me: yess…
brother: jie, you christian right?
me: -.- ya
brother: ok, sing me a christian song!
me: (in my head i was like LOL, what the heck, this is super random but i proceeded to sing in my favourite out of tune voice) ammazzzinggg gracee, how sweet the soundd… 

another night

I was on my loft bed (the upper bunk kind) trying to sleep already…
brother: jie, come down leh, help me plug this in!
me: don’t want I want sleep already
brother: cannot plug in
me: say in Jesus’ name
brother: (said in any other god’s name except Jesus) 
me: in Jesus’ name la
brother: in Jesus’ name
brother: cannott, come down help me 
me: (came down) (immediately plugged the charger in w no difficulty and gave my brother the -.- face)
me: seeeee can already
me: if in Jesus’ name can how?
brother: Ohhhh then of course must convert already la! then in other god’s name can then must convert already la!

now I knock on my brother’s door, it’s not “GO AWAY LA”, yesterday whn he finally opened his door and let me in, he just said, “don’t keep coming my room leh, i busy gaming very hard open the door for you…” =)

and I say all these just to say thank you, to God and to everyone that came for the party who created such a wonderful atmosphere there and for talking to our guests and family. You all left a great impression =)

And to those who have siblings that are not saved, keep on praying; keep on reaching; keep on sowing seeds. 

The LORD’s hand is not shortened that it cannot save (Isaiah 59:1a) and as you plant and others water, God give the increase (1 Corinthians 3:6). 

Last but not least, my brother I love you, and your name is Tay Huai Zhi, which means bearing great ambitions and if I can add, I say you will bear great ambitions FOR GOD! Your name is definitely not bane or bayne or whatever you call yourself, if anything you’re Jasper, a precious gemstone in my heart and God’s.

and I’m gonna continue praying for you.

♥

tomorrow’s my official birthday, but I celebrated my birthday with wong and ping last sunday, 16th Jan! =DDD
this video is the stop motion clip (i guess this can be considered stop motion?) using the photos from the photobooth! =DDD

LOVE stopmotion!
oh btw, we are dressed so horrendously because the theme for the party is ‘fashion disaster’!
hahaha an opportunity to be unglam, seriousllyyy…

<3 

p.s. music: saved by grace by israel houghton